Monday, November 21, 2005

Sire, He Lives a Good League Hence


Just in case any of my bloggin' buddies were on their way to Best Buy or Circuit City to get me some Christmas presents when they happened to catch this article entitled "Giving the Gift of Charity" in the Sunday paper insert yesterday and decided to forego the shopping trip and instead to plant a tree somewhere in my honor, or to send me a can of beans as a token to symbolize their having donated to the Society for the Terminally Lactose Intolerant on my behalf, we need to talk.

Now I'm all for charities and laying something on them, especially around the holidays when all of their seven figure CEOs are slavering for their holiday bonuses, but well, if it comes to giving to them OR finding me a little something electronic under the tree, slap some green paint on me, hoist me up to Mt. Crumpet, and go sing your Za-Who-Doray song with your little Who hands all nicely clasped down in the town square while I toss ol' Max a Christmas cookie and pop the batteries into my new Zum-Tum-Bandoogler.

I acknowledge that I must be flawed when I ponder the face of the late Mother Theresa - that beatific grin in the face of absolute poverty suggesting that somehow, she had it all. But, I want my stuff. Lots of stuff. So, please... Charity begins at Radio Shack, and be sure to wrap that charity up all pretty for me.
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5 comments:

Suze said...

Joe

I don't know if you do this in your part of the world. But in the UK we have charity sacks posted through our letter boxes.

The idea being that you fill them with unwanted items of clothing etc. Which is all well and good, I'm all for recycling.

However, last week I had 10 of these sacks for various charities posted through. Now for F***'s sake how can I fill all of those?

Why don't they spread the distribution of these out a little more thinly? I have now resorted to using them for my rubbish.

There, that's my little moan over. I feel better now.

Willy said...

Joe...I've got you down for a new vacuum with a safety device on it.

Anonymous said...

Joe, I will send a Holiday Kiss your way. Mwaaaaah! There. Did you get it? All better now?

Biker & Teacher said...

Joe

I was going to box The Teacher up with a big red ribbon and send her to you for Christmas but if you rather we could donate $$$ in your name?

The Biker

Dee's Husband Joe said...

Comedians comin' out of the woodwork!

Joe