Saturday, July 23, 2005

Insight: Three Years of Sharing Dee

Reflections After Our Third Year of Sharing Dee
July 23, 2005

Dee's hand in mine on our wedding day.
All I'll ever want. All I really need.

Today marks the anniversary of that wholly magnificent day three years ago when I watched transfixed as my swooning, bare nippled, flushed wife stood next to a bed where another man was lying dressed only in his briefs, whisked off her skirt and panties in one fell swoop to make herself totally and gloriously nude, and eagerly scrambled atop him. It was the first of many moments which would near stop my heart that night when in baring her bottom and joining Don on the bed Dee crossed the line that I'd hoped she would cross into the world of extramarital sex. That evening brought to fruition my longest standing fantasy regarding Dee - one which existed from the very first days in which I knew her. When Don entered Dee it was like the Fourth of July, Christmas and my birthday all in one; I've never seen fireworks so grand nor received a gift so precious as that one in which my angelic wife made an incredible and long believed hopeless dream come true for me.

It would appear that we've gone mellow and slowed down somewhat in this past year compared to the first two as evidenced in particular by not having had a steady string of new lovers. Since Dee enjoyed "R" last August it wasn't until this past week that a new lover fucked her though she had some oral fun with Henry in May. We've had fewer experiences as well, dropping down to 44 this past year after averaging 50 fun times per year in the first two. While on the surface it might seem that we're starting to put on the brakes, that's not it. Our fewer experiences I believe are mostly because we've finally convinced Don that in spite of wanting to, we can't run out on the weekends every time he gets an opportunity to get out of the house. In part, too, it's because at the busier times of the year we took a week off now and then just to clear our heads from all the junk on the calendar. Our dearth of new lovers is because I think we've gotten a little more picky when it comes to selecting folks to get together with us, and because a few of the guys we had chosen disappeared in a puff of smoke when it came time for them to join us. And, although we haven't had many new guys join us in this past year, Dee did enjoy the love making styles of eight guys all told besides my own which she knows so well. So, all in all, we're doing just fine and enjoying everything just as much if not more than before.

Of our 44 experiences during this third year, 37 of them included Mike and 25 of them, Don. I couldn't have asked for two better guys to befriend in sharing Dee. She and I had never really considered that our sexual experiences with others might lead to enduring and close friendships with anybody, but they have and we're much better for it as individuals and as a couple. What's shared between Dee, and Mike and Don when they take to a bed is something very special that goes beyond the physical pleasures. There's a genuine sharing of spirit, of personhood, of emotion and affection which is present precisely because of the deep bonds of friendship we've formed, and those wonderful feelings spill over into our daily life in chats and e-mails with them. Ideally our relationships with all of our intimate friends would be like this, but because of circumstances, distances, their "real life" relationships, etc., we know they can't. Still, we enjoy the transient friendships of each of Dee's lovers and the couples we see while we're with them. We like to interact with them all in the context of friendship rather than to see it as "just sex." When it comes to being as intimate as two persons can get, there really isn't "just sex." If there is, it's sad.

In addition to Don, Mike, "R," Henry and Jason, we saw our old friends Gerry, Bill, and Tom during the course of the year as well. It was my great pleasure this year to have made love with two wonderful and special women - "K" and Jane. I remain in absolute awe over my opportunity on occasion to enter another woman's body; it is a profound thing to me in spite of seeing other men doing the same with Dee almost weekly. I could never express in words the joy I feel in being welcomed inside another lady. I treasure the intimate moments I have spent with the other ladies who've joined us over the years - Gloria, Laura, Freda, Tara, "K," and Jane. I long for another Gloria blow job but in spite of our best occasional efforts we haven't been able to find a mutually convenient time for Brad and her to join us. Her oral abilities are just amazing. I'll never forget Dee's incredulous exclamation of, "You swallowed all of that?" the first time Gloria made me cum in her mouth. It was cute - Dee's question, that is - the blow job was just phenomenal.

I think I'd still like someday to make love with another woman, but not in the context of swinging. It was never something I'd ever considered until I saw Dee make love with the guys, but now I think about it now and then and wonder what it would be like. Of course I'd want Dee there too, as I'm usually there when she's with the guys, but I'd like to be able to do what Dee does with somebody - to share a room for a few hours with another lady and Dee, and to give my lover a part of my heart and soul as well as physical pleasure - to kiss her freely and deeply - to pour my passion up into her belly with our lips locked together in an intimate embrace as emotional as it is physical. Don't get me wrong - the sex with the other ladies that I've had to date has been wonderful, warm, sincere and not lacking anything physical, but it hasn't been emotionally charged as Dee's love making with the guys is. I kind of envy her in that respect.

I wonder at times about the guys who joined us once and then kind of faded off into the sunset. I have the pictures to prove that every one of them had a deliciously wet and cummy time with Dee and I don't understand their having drifted off too easily afterwards. We kept in touch with most of them for a while after we got together with them and spoke of hooking up again, but when we couldn't manage to arrange to see them fast enough they just forgot about us over time rather than to put the same effort into keeping in touch with us that they had when they were first contending for a bed date with Dee. We're guilty of not keeping after them to join us again and of not knocking ourselves out to arrange future meetings, but honestly with having Mike and Don to count on as often as we do, we just don't need to keep after anybody nor try to juggle the calendar unreasonably to accommodate them. I think too in a number of cases that some of the guys felt guilty about having cheated on their wives and went back to the miserable existences they had before they met us, but happier at least for having had the opportunity to have proven to themselves that they weren't the problems in their marriages in terms of their ability to pleasure a woman.

It hardly seems possible to me that I've been sharing Dee nearly every week for three full years now. When our times were bad, days seemed like eternities in themselves and now that life is so grand the months speed by. Then again, I find it nearly incomprehensible that in October we'll have been a couple for twenty-three years and that our elder daughter is now as old as Dee was when I proposed to her - only a year short of being as old as Dee was when we married. If I could go back in time with Dee and learn that the bad years were necessary for us to know now the incredible relationship we have, I'd do it all over again, just the same as I had. Oh, I hated my life back then, but if it was a necessary condition for this - yes, I'd do it again in a heartbeat if I knew this was waiting for me. Now if only I could make time slow down a little so I can savor what I have in my marriage without finding myself suddenly twice my present age with very little sand left to slip through my shaky fingers.

I've often compared watching Dee making love to watching one of those chick flicks where a guy and a girl fall in love over the course of the movie, but at the end when you'd expect the credits to roll by the film continues as after "that one, big, special kiss" the camera follows them into the bedroom to watch their mutual passions explode. There's so much feeling in being witness to that that I - well, it's why I keep writing here in this forum; somehow I keep believing that if I keep writing someday I might find the words to explain it. It's that - whatever emotion it is - that I just can't get enough of immersing myself in when I'm there with the camera watching my wife with her heels or her ass in the air fucking a man as if that cock inside her is supplying her with the very oxygen she needs to breathe.

Thank you to all of you on the reading end of these words who've in any way helped to make these past three years so memorable with your kind words in return. Though I often fall behind in keeping up my correspondence, I value very much my online acquaintances and friendships. I wish I could throw a banquet and invite you all. Of course you'd have to come nude!

What would I like in year four and beyond? Just this. What I have. No more. No less. I want to keep this beyond this lifetime - forever. If heaven were to be anything short of this, or if Dee weren't there with me - it couldn't be heaven.

An excerpt from Dee's mail to Don this morning: I am truly glad it was you who helped to change our lives. You are a sweet man- caring, loving, funny, and smart. We value your friendship and hope you know how special you are to us. Thank you for your friendship, guidence, patience, understanding and even for teaching us a few new "tricks". I have missed you and am eager to see you when we can.