Monday, November 28, 2005

Pleasant Memories and a Heap o' Guilt Too

Two totally different trains of thought here today - both of them memories - one most wonderful, the other with regrets...

It was a workday morning of the first winter that Dee and I were married when we awoke to a whole bunch of snow in the forecast with some already falling at a good pace. A workday for me; Dee was still a junior in college. I was fully dressed - the full white collar regalia, when the phone rang and I was informed that I needn't hurry with the deteriorating weather conditions. Dee had just emerged from the bath, and back then it didn't take a kick start to get my cock humming. I took one look at her nude, 20 year old form all pink and glistening, and BOING!

Her first class was later in the day, and I had extra time on my hands... I kissed her... a peck... then a smooch... then the full trying to eat each other whole thing and in between chewing on her tongue with my lips I managed to tell her that I didn't need to rush off to work. We stayed in kiss formation and I felt Dee's little fingertips opening my belt, and then my zipper. She got my pants and briefs to the floor in a puddle around my ankles and then got on all fours on the edge of the bed. I shuffled up behind her and eased myself into her darling hole from behind, and the sight of her magnificent ass and the snug sensations of her sweet pussy threatened to give me a screaming case of sensory overload that early in the morning. I remember having to move the tip of my tie out of the way on occasion when it threatened to block the view of my veiny, slick dick moving through Dee's taut labia. 'Twas, without a doubt, one of the most memorable fucks of my life. Dressed, as I was, it was as if I'd taken her on my desk at work. Awesomely exciting!

We never had morning sex at all during the bad years. Maybe that's why my brain hangs onto that memory as vividly as it does.

OK... Time to switch trains...

Always Aroused Girl has this amazing ability to dredge up things from my brain, make me mull them over, and then write about them - all without even trying. She did it again this morning and I'll write about that in just a little while, but do you think that AAG's starting to become an obession with me? It's her fault if she is; I did warn her in no uncertain terms that if she were to quote from Kant's Prolegomena it would do things to me, and thus forewarned, she went right ahead and did it anyway. I will admit only that I wish she lived much closer so she could join us on some of our date nights, and maybe on a dare I'd admit that she's one of the most fascinating ladies I know whose brain is every bit as arousing as her body, but that's all I'm saying and otherwise my lips are sealed (unless she presses her vulva to them in which case I will not be held responsible for my actions).

So, that other train which she inspired me to ride upon this morning...

Seeing my "first" at my grandma's wake a few years ago... I hadn't seen her since we'd parted ways back when I was still in college, and then there she was, nearly 20 years later, from out of the blue, offering me condolences and all I could do was undress her with my eyes and hope that what I was thinking wasn't showing on my face. There at my side was the stone cold Dee at the height of the "bad years," and there in front of me making my head spin a hundred miles an hour a woman from whom my thoughts were never far away when I took off my pants and dallied with the dick. I thought all the time about "her" and me - how we explored each other's bodies in our early teens. Back when our friends were still going gaga over David Cassidy and Susan Dey she and I were doing what our peers only imagined doing, and I remember every last, little, juicy detail of what the two of us shared together.

It was like they say about the moment you check out of this world - your whole life plays before your eyes as if in a movie. There I stood beside Gram's bier and playing through my awful brain was a select portion of my life - triple X rated - and in front of me, my very co-star in those semen gushing scenarios. I don't know how/if I even introduced her to Dee or if I made any mention of exactly who she was after she left - probably not. I spent, in the few minutes in which "she" and I talked, an eternity in considering what I was missing in the bedroom and wishing I could have back what I once had with this girl-now-a-woman.

Guilt... In retrospect, she gave me her pussy because what she needed was to be loved. I can see that so clearly now - can understand how unhappy she was at home with an "evil step-mother" who came between her and her dad after her mom died. How what she really wanted was to be held - to be made to feel safe, and accepted, and validated. But I was a kid and she had a pussy and she was giving it up to me. What did I know of feelings, of nurturing, of loving at a time when my cock did most of my thinking? (Not that it doesn't now, but I can temper it on occasion.)

I think about her still. Often. It arouses me to remember what she and I did together with our clothes off. But, it makes me think about other lifetimes I might have lived. Nobler things I might have done. One heart to whom I might have made a difference, but didn't bother. I don't know that I'll ever see her in this lifetime in circumstances in which I might confess to her, "I'm sorry." She probably put all of that so far behind her so long ago that it makes not bit of difference. But it does to me. I fear it always will. I want to tell her I'm sorry for using her. And, God forgive me - I want to share a bed with her again - maybe to do it right this time - with passion, with emotion, with affection. Technorati Tags: deesjoe sweetmrs39 cock sucking cocksucking cocksucker pussy fuck fucker fucked fucking licker licking balls nuts fellatio blow job blowjob dick handjob hot wife hotwife shared wife sharedwife cunnilingus cunt snatch slit gash vagina sex sexy sexblog sexblogs blog cum ejaculate bareback swingers swinging bi bisexual bi-sexual bicurious bi-curious jism cockbloggingwednesday half-nekkid thursday hnt rimjob rimming vulva labia intercourse nipples tits areola areolas majora minora breasts clitoris penis lifestyle dildo erection polyamory milf semen masturbation masturbate orgasm climax clit dick prick boner hardon woody erection asshole anus buns analingus ass

1 comment:

AlwaysArousedGirl said...

I bet she'd appreciate it. Really. Look her up. Not for fucking (get yer mind outta the gutter) but so you could tell her thank you and I'm sorry.

Glad my funeral thing inspired you. You know, you throw down a challenge like the Prolegomena thing, and of course I'm going to respond to it. That's all the responsibility I'm taking! :D