Of all the emotionally taxing things I have to do, none is worse than saying goodbye whether it be at the end of a party, when a friend moves away, or at a graveside. I don't like saying goodbye at all, particularly when I've arrived at the terminus of a relationship - an ending from which there's no turning back, no changing one's mind, no chance of ever meeting up again. And so it was with a very heavy heart that I bade a final farewell this afternoon to some fine ladies who've been with me for many years - the ladies of porn who stiffened my cock regularly when there were no home computers with graphics capabilities, no internet, no CDs full of hot pics, no VHS tapes nor DVDs - just those sweet women with staples through their belly buttons in the varied magazines that I purchased regularly through the 70's and 80's.
I'm a pack rat. I don't throw things away. Some of the magazines I have stashed away are truly vintage items. (Hold it right there. No, I'm not going to sell them on Ebay; too much like work.) But, I did a lot of cleaning lately of parts of the house where I keep my stuff and there taking up way too much room these days were all my old magazines. They get no use now with many more and much better "dirty pictures" just the click of a mouse away and free for the taking. The old girls smelled a bit of mildew and cellar things and so their time had come. With the shredder under my arm I went downstairs feeling like the protagonist in something out of Poe with malice in his heart - heading down to do in the love of his youth. I even remembered some of the old gals by name, and why not? It's not like I didn't cry out those very names in muffled tones while squirting out gallons of goo once upon a time.
And thus are dispatched summarily the
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