Sunday, April 02, 2006

Cock Thoughts

Claims of my popularity have been greatly exaggerated - by the counters, it would seem. Hundreds of readers a day, but I never seem to write anything that strikes a particular chord with anybody sufficient to garner noteworthy comments besides those posted regularly by Des, AAG, and Suze, with an occasional Mac and George tossed in for good measure and the rare one by a stranger on occasion. I'm not bellyaching, really, because I write this for me more than for whomever might be on the other end of these words, but at times it would be helpful to know what my readers come here for that I might find some inspiration in thinking up what to write about at times when I very much have the urge to write but nothing special comes to mind.

There are two major themes here on a regular basis - sharing Dee with her lovers, and my own enjoyment of having a hard cock in my mouth. I know from experience that it would seem that more men are bi-curious than the guys who openly admit it. Talk with a newbie often progresses from writing about him having fun with Dee into the realm of the bi and of possibly exploring a fantasy of his about either touching or sucking a dick. I'll always regret that my bi side waited till my late 30s to manifest itself, and till my mid 40s to grip me sufficiently to act upon it. I bemoan, ironically, the loss of the bisexual fantasies that I often played through my head back then before I took the plunge; they were the hottest damned thoughts I'd ever entertained in my entire life - far out scorching any fantasies I'd ever had about women even when I was 16 and pretty much able to cut glass with the tip of my stiff dick.


Pictured here is one of the very first cocks about which I dreamed. It belongs to a younger guy who lives in South Africa. I don't remember exactly how we got in touch, but I suspect that it was in the newsgroups because there wasn't a hell of a lot on the web back then that could be gotten to easily without having to pay. He was kind enough to share with me, in addition to some really hot pictures of his delicious looking cock, stories about some of his own bi experiences - fun he'd had with both men and women at the same time. In fact, now that I think about it, there was a wife somewhere in the mix - either his or his bi friend's - and she joined them in their MM play. I can't say that that sparked any of my own interest in sharing Dee because at that point I was obsessing about cocks and not working any fantasies about her. That was at the height of our "bad years" so although a rare thought about watching her with another man would pass through my head it was quickly dismissed as a total impossibility while thoughts of unhinging my jaw for a thick cock seemed much more plausible as an eventuality. Unfortunately, through the years I fell out of touch with the guy in this picture and his old e-mail address is dead in the water. I wish I could tell him that I finally did it all, and thank him for keeping my fantasies fueled as well as he did. Mostly, I wish I could suck that beautiful dick of his as I so often thought about doing when thoughts were all I had.




This is a local guy with whom I exchanged mails and pictures for a few years. That's him in the picture I'm holding. That's me standing nice and stiff while contemplating his cock. When I thought I finally had the balls to meet with him, he balked. More than once. Truth be told, I might have balked myself if he hadn't first. I wanted cock, but I didn't want to "cheat" on Dee. I wasn't quite so disgusted with our bad sex then to venture out extramaritally. It felt good, though, to have a dick in my own backyard, so to speak, rather than one on another continent half a world away. A dick that was, at least on paper, a definite possibility rather than just a fantasy. I fell out of touch with him too, even after we started sharing Dee and I'd invited him to join us on one of our weekly "dates." He just faded off into the sunset. I fear that he'll always have the fantasies, but never the balls. Too bad 'cause his balls looked scrumptious to me.

Other thoughts...

Gary, my best friend from high school who knows about our extramarital lifestyle and who's highly bi but in the closet, thinks I'm insane because I don't get off on good looking guys. I really don't. My only interest in a man when it comes to sex is concentrated in his package - his cock, his balls, that's it! Gary enjoys the hugging, the kissing, the cuddling, and he's into the buff dudes with chisled abs and such. I couldn't care less about the body attached to the cock I'm sucking. The guy himself, yes, but not the condition of his body. It simply doesn't excite me if a guy's a hunk or not.

In a sense, I think that sucking a guy's cock and licking his balls is somehow my ultimate testimony to my own masculinity. As George Carlin quipped about a dog's ability to lick its own goods, "Hell, if I could reach, I'd never leave the house." I tried sucking myself on occasion, but it never worked. Somehow having a man's cock in my mouth fulfills that deep desire in my to suck my own. If I can't give myself that pleasure, I may as well pass it along.

And now, after all this dick talk... I'm off to chuch. I'm not going to figure myself out. I've stopped trying. I'm learning just to enjoy the fun. For the first time in my life - these past few years... I really like being me.
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6 comments:

Rosie said...

Well, I'll just say hello. I usually just read. For me, I've enjoyed all the diversity available on the Web - reading, thinking, now a bit of doing. You write very well, and are a good read. So thank you for sharing -- and adding to the adventure of exploring. Maybe more readers will unlurk today. - Will that fulfill a fantasy for you? Wow to be a part of that. :)

Desireous said...

Joe~ I wouldn't give it any thought. For all the readers I have I should have hundreds of comments but I don't. Some people I think are better at drawing out the crowds than others in terms of getting them to speak out but for the most part I think people are just plain happy reading. And I KNOW they are quite happy reading here at your blog!!!

Hugs
Des

Jon Jonz said...

I don't usually post either, but i really do enjoy your posts. The fantasies about cocksucking really struck a chord with me today.

Dane said...

Ditto--the visitor to commentor ratio seems to always be low (especially for male bloggers; we seem to get the hits, but not so much the comment love).

I'm here almost every day, but I don't always have that right thing to say.

Buttpluglover said...

I hope I'm counted among the "rare" commentors!

Good entry; you make me curious about you and Dee's past; is this explained in your earlier blog entires? I'll have to go back and take a look.

And you're right, that Australian's cock is certainly yuummy looking.

AlwaysArousedGirl said...

And now, after all this dick talk... I'm off to chuch.




That cracks me up!

:)