Sunday, May 07, 2006

De Profundis

De profundis clamavi ad te, Domine.
Out of the depths I have cried to Thee, O Lord.

I am depressed.

I've written in various forums for four years about Dee's depression - how it made our life together so empty for sixteen years - how the meds she's taken since being diagnosed with it make such a remarkable difference. And yet, I sit here during my own times in the doldrums refusing to seek medical relief, telling myself that if I just hang in here long enough the gray clouds will lift and all will be well. Historically, I know I'm right. My own stretches of depression are usual precipitated by specific events and when I'm able to work through them in my head till they make sense in some way, I come out of the fog okay.

Sometimes, though, I wish there were a magic pill. Oh, there is. Dee takes one every day. But I don't think, in my case, that a pill is worth taking because until things in my topsy turvy brain are right-side up again, no pharmaceutical treat however yummy will change things, make them any different, make them any better.

9 comments:

GeorgeVanna said...

Joe

No need to worry about things you can not change. Put your energy toward matters in which you can make a difference.

George and Vanna

Buttpluglover said...

I'm with you, no drugs.

AlwaysArousedGirl said...

How about some short-term counseling? Could help...

Hugs, as always.

MikeCindynJoe said...

 
Joe,

I hear you reaching out, but you must also be receptive to the answers.

Hang in there. Often times, "One must first stand in the shadows, in order to appreciate the light."

Take your time.

Mike

Suze said...

Joe, you're quite right. Drugs can sometimes do no more than anaesthetise and when your problems are still around you.

Hang on in there and hopefully you will come out of it and things will start to fall in to place.

*hugs*

RobbieG said...

Joe,
I saw your comment on my blog and I appreciate your kind thoughts. I'm getting better with the help of an unlikely source, my grandkids. I hope that my situation didn't contribute to your depression in any way. We all go through things but we always come out on the other side. At least that's my hope and I'm sticking to it...for me and you the rest rest of us bloggers who are going through tough times right now. Take care buddy and bet better soon.
Rob

MrManicDepressive said...

Drugs are good, VERY good! But, you have to make the decision yourself. My wires are majorly crossed and the only two things keeping me alive are TW's love and that little yellow pill. Good luck with your fight! I'm pullin' for you.

Big Jimmy said...

Joe, Hang in there buddy! I took the "happy pill " route myself and now am weaning myself off of them in favor of taking care of myself te right way, with diet exercise and plenty af sleep. Good luck to ya!
Big Jimmy

Mac said...

Darn Joe, I'm so sorry for you. I hate that you are going through this. I done the depression thing myself but I finally came out of it. I wish there was something I could say or do for you. About the only thing I could offer are prayers and offering an ear to listen if you need another. Lots of people here are concerned for you and Dee also. Please hang in there as best you can. Don't rule out anything which might help. Depression can ruin your life and you've got too much going to let that happen. Please take care. Mac