Sometimes a Good "Humbug"! is Deserved

It's not often that I'd like to see somebody's asshole worked over with an electric hedge clipper, but now and then if I had my druthers (Whatever the hell they are.) yeah, I'd buy front row tickets to watch a deserving anus get sliced and diced with extreme prejudice. Such is the fate I wish upon whomever wrote the horrible "The Christmas Shoes" featured too often on the local easy-listening all Christmas, all the time, radio station.

I'd have spent some time here ripping this piece of musical shit to pieces if it hadn't already been beautifully shredded by this guy with even more splendid sarcasm that I could hope to pen.

Basically it's a most terrible song about a dirty little urchin without enough money trying to buy shoes for his mother at the mall because she's dying at Christmas time and he wants her to look all pretty when she meets the Lord on the other side. It is as musically poor as it is a lyric disaster and it doesn't even have the pretense of trying to be a good piece of music. Its entire reason to exist is to try to make you cry, and if you do you're emotionally stunted; the scenario in it is so unlikly that you'd have a better chance of behing hit by lightning while trying to climb down your chimney than of witnessing what's described in it. To the composer(s), the group "Newsong" which performed it, and especially to the jackass who decided that a childrens' choir should sing the final chorus, I offer this - the yuletide finger!

It's just wrong to use such a blatantly stupid theme to sell a song and to make by design the emotionally pathetic weep over such drivel during the holidays.

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