Wednesday, January 10, 2007

God Didn't Make No Junk!

I remember Steve Martin's "The Jerk" and the euphemism "special purpose" by which his character Navin referred to his dick when he wrote home about having gotten laid for the first time. A sweetly naive choice of words for the simple Navin, but appropriately expressive of how I've always thought of my own fun parts and the high regard to which I hold the pursuit of their pleasure. Orgasm is the usual punctuation mark with which I end a typical day and that moment when my warm semen begins gushing out of me is indeed remarkable - almost sacred in its profundity of delightful sensation. If I needed another term with which to refer to that marvelous instrument of my own pleasure, my cock, (And of course neither I nor you need yet another word for it.), I'd be sure to choose a term that connotes its importance to me because of its unique ability to give me the particularly amazing feeling of a climax.

And with that preamble, I'd love to kick upside the head whatever fuckin' genius decided that we were going to start calling a guy's package his "junk." I'll assume the term came from the streets where the folks who live there never seem able to express themselves without constantly inventing new terms where they're not needed instead of making some attempt to master the mother tongue as it's spoken and written by those of us who communicate quite well using traditional words and the standard ways of putting them together.

Junk? There's nothing junky about my cock and balls. They're as precious to me as my eyes - and nearly as special to me are the ones I've licked and sucked! Keep your junk on the streets, but I'll keep my special purpose all cozy here in my boxers till it rises to the occasion of another precious play session.

You can call it my special purpose, but
don't you dare call it my "junk!"
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Suck Me said...

I'd love to kick him in the head too. We'll take turns :P

Alfie said...

Quite right, too. But maybe not his head - his "junk" perhaps?