Sunday, June 10, 2007

Responding to a Critic

My first reaction to criticism, even of a constructive and well meant nature, is to pounce on my antagonist with my claws bared, for surely he needs a little pain in order that he might stop in his tracks to consider the errors in his thought and flaws in his logic which I'll be quick and thorough to show him. Late last night, though, I came upon a piece of writing in which I'm taken to task on a number of counts, and my knee jerk reaction to piss in Tom Paine's Cheerios™ in return kicked in as usual. Instead of writing a reaction to it, though, I thought I'd sleep on it; something in the back of my brain suggested that perhaps there was a hint of truth in old Tom's negativity about "Sharing Dee." Gulp! Could it be?

Tom writes: "Gradually I stopped reading 'Sharing Dee.' The never-ending diet of graphic sex, graphic photos (many of them rather crude in execution, not just subject matter) dulled any titillation factor for me. A non-stop parade of the same images and stories simply isn't erotic after awhile, at least not for me. I don't disparage their site or those who eagerly consume it's hard-core offerings, though apparently even Joe, Dee's husband, has tired of the conceit and struggles to find new material. No, it's simply not me."

There are quite a few distinct points for me to chew on in there and it's my nature to pick things apart and roll them around on my tongue to distinguish the flavors. That's what I did with Tom's points as I drifted off to sleep last night and as I savored my coffee this morning before starting to write this reaction. As with many things, I tend to hit the ground running when I'm fired up about something. As noted above, I don't sit back quietly to ponder options when I'm "inspired." I react viscerally to things both good and bad. I appreciate life's pleasures not like a cultured gent but more like a half-starved lion devouring something with big, brown eyes that he just dragged from its herd. That's how I started this blog - without a clear mission, purpose, or goal. Maybe to respond to Tom's charges I need a clearer sense of my purpose here and then to assess, though backwards, my accomplishments in light of that raison d'ĂȘtre and to consider some of his specific points.

So, what prompted "Sharing Dee" and what keeps it going? No one, huge, all-encompassing thing.

"graphic sex, graphic photos"- I love the sight of Dee's nude body. Perfect? No, but no other body in the universe makes my heart pound and my dick stand at attention as hers does. I like showing her off to the guys who like seeing her. If she happens to have a hard cock poking into one of her holes, all the better to firm up those dicks. It's just an extension of who I am. Lingerie pictures do nothing for me. I'm an explicit person and "Sharing Dee" simply reflects that. Conceit? Sure, but Tom says it as if it's a bad thing.

As for "(many of them rather crude in execution, not just subject matter)" about the photos... I never claimed to be an artist with the camera so I see that particular comment as just a cheap shot. I don't take pictures to stroke my chin and ponder the lighting and other nuances of composition. It's something else entirely that I anticipate stroking when I view them.

"non-stop parade of the same images and stories"- I seek to understand myself. Why, ultimately, do I get such extreme pleasure in watching Dee fuck another man? I don't know. What I do here at the blog is often an attempt to identify what's in a sealed bag without being able to peer inside and then to describe the contents to others. I find us evolving, so the answers I might have given a few years ago wouldn't be the same now. Hence the revisiting of themes in almost cyclic fashion - to find things I might have missed the first five times around.

"struggles to find new material" - Sure I do. I think of "Sharing Dee" as more of a trip than a destination and daily my readers are invited along for the ride. As in real life, much of a drive is simply around the neighborhood running errands, keeping appointments, picking up groceries. Much of what you see is the same old stuff, but if you're in tune with what's out the window on a ride, there are many things to be seen that can put a smile on your face even if they're quite familiar. No, I can't promise a trip to the amusement park every day, but you're welcome to ride along wherever I'm going.

Among other reasons for starting "Sharing Dee" and keeping it going...

- Miracles do happen. That we ended up doing this - taking to beds for Dee to enjoy sex with a variety of other men is nothing short of making the impossible real. I like to encourage all those guys who visit "Sharing Dee" to participate in this vicariously because their own wives won't do it. Nobody who knew Dee all her life would imagine that she might do and enjoy this. I don't want the guys with wives like that to lose sight of hope.

- Every day since we made our first online appearance with some details about our experiences with others I've gotten e-mails full of questions. If I'd answered every one of them with sufficient detail writing mails would become a full time endeavor. I use this blog to try to explain what we do and why we do it as best I can without having to chain myself here to this chair in order to reply individually to everybody who writes.

- I want to make you cock or clit tingle a little.

There are many sex blogs and we all have a different flavor. This one's mine. I could put on my best pseudo intellectual hat like many others to crank out my daily posts, but then they wouldn't be any fun to write. I'm glad to have the readers who enjoy what I offer even when it's just another trip around the same block with too many dirty pictures.

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Cheri said...

What an excellent and Dee have shared your life with all of us and I want to thank you...your blog gives me a new insight into another alternative in a marriage. I don't get tired of your shots at all..I find them both erotic and I see art in expression of your love for Dee.

So keep it up for as long as you want! (no pun intended) The blog is yours and if you wanted to post your shopping list on's your choice. XOXOXOXOX

Lou said...

First of all, kudos to you on running YOUR blog YOUR way.

Second, a tremendous response - Cheri perfectly covered much of the same rationale I have.

Third, just keep doing it. You guys are great - personality, love, adoration, sex, expression. Don't change for anyone but yourselves. You are both tremendous.

D said...

Run YOUR blog the way YOU want. At the end of the day if someone doesnt like it THEY don't have to come back and look at the stream of never ending photo's (YAY!). Let them fnid their pleasure elsewhere. As a guy still hoping for the miracle with my own wife i love reading about you and ours!

D said...

"Gradually I stopped reading "Sharing Dee". Your blog is just like a TV channel. If you don't like what's on, change the channel. That's what Tom can do and apparently already has. Your answer to him was well put. I find your posts interesting. Sure, some are better than others. None of us are on top of our game every single minute of every single day. And the same old pictures, well, they're not to me. I don't tire of seeing Dee ever. The mechanics of sex can be by it's very nature repetitive but penis in vagina pictures are never boring to me. It all depends on what you see when you look. There's more to see than the actual picture. I get caught up in imagining what participants are thinking, feeling and saying to each other. It's a little hard to describe. Nevertheless, a thousand more pictures of Dee and her lovers would not be too much for me. Just keep going as you're going Joe and hopefully Tom will also. Mac

mia said...

You and Dee have been and continue to be an inspiration for my husband and I. Yours is the ONLY blog my husband reads. He won't even read my blog - he says it's too much reading with not enough pictures.

The picture that appears as the header to each post is nothing if not art. The way the light falls on Dee's body is stunning, and knowing she's outside makes it exciting.

I love your response to what you view as criticism. I think it shows the importance of your blog because if people are talking about you and you don't like it at least they are talking about you. You could stand to increase your readership because of that post.

I'm visiting you daily, and I look forward to all of your posts. You and Dee have inspired many hot sessions between my husband and I and our playmates. We aspire to find regular people to play with in the way you and Dee regularly enjoy Mike and Don.

I'm so thankful that I found your blog, and I look forward to following along with your journey as you move towards whatever your future holds.

MikeCindynJoe said...

I read of Tom Paine’s disappointment in your blog several days ago. As a big fan of yours, I of course differed with his opinion – to which he is most certainly entitled – but I question why one would bother to dwell on a perceived negative? There are a lot of blogs that I don’t care for and certain ones are quite horrid… but I haven’t taken (or wasted) the time or space to alert the world. I’d rather talk about one I like rather than mention one I don’t.

Back to “Sharing Dee”… as it has already been said and very well I might add by Cheri, Lou and D, it is YOUR blog. The very heart of the matter is… it is YOUR blog. Your perspective, your humor, your style, your emotion and yes (YES!), your nasty pictures. All of the things that drew me to your blog, all of the things that I like about your blog, had a great deal to do with me creating my own sex blog, so I guess Tom Paine could be talking about my blog also, especially since I recently stated that I was going to write more about sex.

No matter. To each his own… Tom, Joe and Mike. My feelings aren’t hurt and I know yours aren’t either and I’d caution you not change a thing about your blog, but I know you won’t either.

In this situation, I like to recall one of my all-time favorite lines from Bob Dylan, who, after being viciously panned by a certain critic, was later asked for his reaction to this scathing review and he calmly replied, “Just ‘cuz you don’t like my stuff doesn’t mean I owe you anything.”

‘Nuff said.

Drive on.

monkee said...

I was skimming blogs and read his post, so I was curious enough to come over and check your blog out. I love it! It gained you one new reader at least :)