We'll be seeing Don this evening. He wrote to Dee this morning...
"Only a few hours from the time you read this, my cock will be fully immersed inside you, and you'll be caressing it with your warm, moist embrace."
She wrote back...
"I am looking forward to see you, licking you and making love to you. Stay hard for me!"
That's a bit of a preface to the point of today's entry which is nothing truly new to those of you who visit me here on a regular basis. A friend of Dee's and mine from college who lives across the state visits us every summer and we both keep in touch with her in e-mails the rest of the year. A few summers ago during one of her visits we told her all about our extramarital adventures because we were bursting from the excitement and sort of needed to tell somebody we knew we could trust. We hadn't much talked any more about it with her until recently in a series of letters back and forth between her and me. She's thinking about seeing a guy outside of her dysfunctional marriage and she's been picking my brain about various concerns she has, not the least of which is the moral aspect.
I wrote to her...
"There comes a point in life when you owe it to yourself to be as happy as the Lord would like you to be. I'm convinced that what He knows will make us most happy and content is sometimes off the beaten path of traditional morality, and that He's okay with that. If you were to see Dee and Don together, there's no way you could look at it and say that it's wrong. I see it as something of great beauty, really. It's warm, emotional, affectionate, caring, and loving. I can't see immorality anywhere on the page. And that's not rationalization. It's five years of experience and of feeling things in my heart as deeply as in my dick."
She wrote back to me...
"Wow. You really do need to tell me more about all of this. And not just for curiosity's sake either. I don't know if I've ever had anyone say anything like what you've said above. It sounds more than amazing."
I assured her in a quick letter back the next day that it is amazing, and so much more. But, how do I explain that to her - something I've been trying to put into succinct and concise words here for over two years now? What is it about Dee's going to bed with Don, and Mike, that elevates it to making love and not just "hot wifing" or simply having sex?
I think you can even see the making love shining through
in a picture. I can see it here just as plain as day.
I don't know, really. Very simply put, when Dee is with one of them, they look like they belong together whether they're kissing, cuddling, licking, sucking, or fucking passionately. I've never looked at Dee on a bed with Don or Mike and thought for a single second that she looks out of place there with all of her clothes off. I've felt the same about most of the men we've invited to be Dee's lovers, but much more keenly with Don and Mike because of our special relationship with each of them.
Another key piece of the making love "mystery" is the deep respect, admiration, and appreciation that we all feel for each other. Not once have either Don or Mike made us feel that their efforts are mostly or basically about their own pleasure. They knock themselves out in trying to give Dee as much good feeling - in her heart as much as between her thighs - as they can, acting much of the time as if their own pleasure is a secondary afterthought. The moments we share with them in a motel room that aren't all about the sex itself are the ones in which we weave our own lives into theirs, talking about all of the things that friends talk about with each other.
And, it's making love because it truly is love. It's almost as if they're saying, "I love you this much as my friend. I want you to be inside me, (I want to be inside you.) because there's no way that we can possibly be closer to each other." How can I, as Dee's husband, witness the depth of feeling between Dee and her lovers without feeling less for it? Because there is nothing about it that takes away anything that I share with Dee myself or her with me. Her loving Don and Mike subtracts nothing from our marriage - from our relationship with each other. There are ways in which it enhances it.
What Dee shares with Don and Mike would be making love whether or not I could admit that to myself. If I needed to downgrade it in my mind for the sake of my own security, I would see it as less. I'd see Dee as a slut wife and my cock would still enjoy the same sight of another man's hard cock working her wanton pussy, and I'd get off on it. How much I'd be missing, though, if I didn't open my heart to knowing that other men can love my wife as these men do and allow myself to appreciate the beauty in their affectionate expressions of emotion with her.
At other times it looks more like raw, hot and horny sex. Even
then, though, I know there's much more to it than that.
Maybe I've explained this making love thing here today in a way in which I haven't before. I always feel good in trying and in believing that perhaps I've made it a little easier for somebody else to understand these emotions that buoy me as they do. I enjoy trying because I like what I feel when I think about it and at least try to make sense of it. It's almost as good as being there in those very moments which create these thoughts - being there as we will once again with Don this very day. With all our clothes off. Making love.
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