Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Insight: Why?

The main question - the one I've gotten most often, perhaps, whether explicitly or implicitly is why? Why share the love of my life, my soul mate, her heart, her vagina with other men? To be perfectly thruthful, I'm not entirely sure except to say that I know that it does something for me inside that nothing else can. It's like a natural high when I see Dee with another guy touching her, kissing her, fucking her until she's cumming so hard and so often that she's nearly delirious from the pleasure.

It all goes back to when she told me about losing her virginity to a married man when she was still in her teens. From the minute she told me that story almost 23 years ago, I have wanted to have been a fly on the wall of that room where Dee was deflowered - to witness her lover's cock penetrating her for the very first time - to see the look on her face when he slid so deep into her warm body that his bloated balls pressed up against her bare ass cheeks. Somehow, our extramarital experiences afford me the opportunity to be there when for a second I lose touch with the reality of the moment and imagine myself there in that room where and when Dee did "it" for the first time.

Another part of it all is that for 16 of the 19 years that we were married before we started sharing Dee, she had no use for sex at all. It was a constant source of friction between us. She hated it and put me off as often as she could; I, of course, wanted it all the time. I dreamed and prayed during all those years that somehow there could be a reawakening of Dee's sexuality, though I didn't believe that it was remotely possible that that could happen. Well, it happened - in spades. In a sense I see the sex - the "extra" sex that Dee enjoys with the guys - as a way of making up for all the lost time in which she didn't know the joy of sexual pleasure. By encouraging her to experience sex with a variety of lovers I afford her many pleasures I couldn't give her myself simply because everybody's style of love making is different and unique. She's come to savor the varied sensations and I like for her to have them.

Frankly, and this is the first forum in which I've admitted this - I enjoy the being the husband of a "Hot Wife." For many years during the time when Dee was sexless in spirit I trolled the internet, discovering in my travels that pictures of a real woman - somebody's wife - were 1,000 times hotter than any pictures I'd ogled of perfect bodied, young models in magazines in my younger days. I envied the husbands of such wonderful women who happily shared their nude pictures online with men knowing full well that their naked images were being enjoyed by men with their pants at their ankles and their hard cocks pointing to the ceiling. I love knowing that my own wife's bare body makes other men's dicks stand at attention when they see her pictures, and when the select few who enjoy her in real life take off her clothes to begin an evening of intense love making. I'm proud of Dee, of her remarkable sexuality, and I love showing her off to an appreciative audience. And I enjoy now being one of those guys whom other guys envy.

So, there's the "why" in a nut shell.

1 comment:

marcus said...

pretty honest post there.