Friday, June 17, 2005

Musings: All Grown Up Now

Every guy, at some point in his life, has probably fantasized about having a beautiful woman as his sex slave - a woman who'll do anything and everything to give him pleasure. For most of us guys in relationships, though, it becomes obvious early on that not only would an arrangement like that not work emotionally in the long run, but it wouldn't be all that one had hoped it would be physically either. There comes a time in a man's life when knowing that he's giving his partner equal or better pleasure than he's receiving becomes very important. I kind of think that crossing that line is what delineates boyhood from manhood.

During the lousy years of our marriage it wasn't the lack of sex that had me down much of the time. Dee gave me sex at least about half as often as I'd have liked it, but it wasn't fulfilling other than physically. What I wanted most out of it was precisely what I couldn't have and that's what made it so sad; I wanted Dee to enjoy it - to thrive on cumming as much as I did, but she just couldn't. And because there was nothing really in it for her in spite of any technique variations I tried, she took to it all very dispassionately. Somebody online once used the term "flatbacker" to describe his wife who just laid there flat on her back during sex with no emotion, no passion, just that Come on and get this over with look that I knew myself all too well. That was Dee to a tee back then.

This new life that Dee and I are living and loving is ultimately tied into our renewed sex life - more specifically, into Dee's personal craving for orgasms and her terrific responsiveness to all things sexual. What a joy it is to awaken every morning to find Dee's CC's to me of the mails she sent in the early hours of the day to the guys who'd written to her about having seen her pictures, or to one of her fuck buddies to arrange a future tryst. How utterly thrilling it is to show up in our bedroom with one of the cameras in my hand to see Dee grin in knowing that I'm going to take more pictures of her to show off to the world or perhaps just to Mike. What a fantastic pleasure to have Dee suck my cock now with gusto unlike in the old days where she just toyed with it a little while wearing her Do I really have to do this? face. But, the piece de resistance - touching, licking, sucking, fucking Dee and hearing her moan - seeing her eyes rolling back - feeling her muscles tightening as her body readies itself to climax - and seeing and feeling those grand spasms of her whole body as the pleasure rips through her intensely, and knowing that you're the source of those pleasures for her.

Dee's best lovers are the guys who are keenly aware of what a wonderfully tuned sexual machine Dee's sweet body is - capable of both giving and receiving deep, intensely satisfying pleasures over the course of hours. They enjoy making her cum every bit as much as they enjoy feeling her mouth, pussy or ass milking every last drop of warm cream fom their throbbing cocks. They're in tune with her responsiveness, playing her swollen and gooey bottom like a conductor leading an orchestra through to the ultimate cadence. They find much personal satisfaction and joy in being able to make a woman respond to their fingers, lips, toungues, and cocks as beautifully as Dee responds. I think the absolute best moments are when Dee cums while she's being fucked. Anybody can lick a pussy and go directly for the clit, but it's a terrific ego rush when a guy sees and feels a woman cumming because of what his cock is doing to her, and Dee loves giving a man not only the pleasure of fucking her but of showing him just how good he's making her feel in return.

In short - we don't want a sex slave who'll do anything and everything we want in exclusion to what she might want. We want her to love it too - to get as much of a rush out of the sights and smells and tastes, and sounds, and sensations of sex as we do. We want a guy's brain in a woman's body when it comes to sex. It's my great pleasure to have that in Dee, and to share her with guys who have my own appreciation for how special she is in her unique sexual give and take of exquisite sensation and warm emotion.

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