Monday, June 12, 2006

My Name is Joe and I'm a Pornoholic

I download more porn than I have the time to look at. I burn it to CDs, delete much of it from my hard drive without even perusing it, and then I download more - sometimes a few CDs worth in a day. Whoever dies with the most porn wins? I don't know. I just can't seem to stop grabbing the stuff. Addicted to it? Most assuredly!

Since that first glimpse of a demurely nude lady, tastefully displayed on a calendar in my great uncle's workshop when I was maybe 12 or so I've never stopped wanting to look at naked ladies - all the time. It's as if my goal in life is to see as many women with their clothes off as I possibly can. Before the internet I had to choose where and how to spend my porn dollars carefully. Should I bring home a few quality hardcore mags, for example, or a whole stash of softcore rags? Thanks to the 'net, though, I can have it all for no more than the price of my regular connection to cyberspace.

Pay for porn? You'd have to be out of your mind with all that's out there free for the taking. I shake my head incredulously when I see how many pay sites seem to be thriving, especially the amateur sites run by married couples with a digital camera and a wife who likes to show herself off. Who the fuck is actually keeping them in business? Who are the idiots parting with $29.95 per month billed discreetly to their credit cards as, "I Jerk Off Way Too Much With Internet Porn Ltd." Why buy the cow when the milk is free? Well, unless you're lactose intolerant and have to suck down the spurious soy substitute, but I digress tangentially yet again.

For the true porn hound such as myself, thank heaven for Usenet - "the newsgroups!" (I'll bet there are more than a few folks out there who consider themselves internet savvy but who've never connected to a single newsgroup.) Though it takes a little while to learn one's way around, and though even the well seasoned pornophile (C'est moi!) occasionally gets duped into pulling down a whole directory's worth of spam, a little experience can go a long way toward harvesting way too many pics to use in a masturbation session of reasonable length and toward stockpiling for future jerk off experiences to be had when one's 'net connect might be down and those CDs full of naked titties, pussies, and asses (and perhaps now and then a really good looking cock) are just what the doctor ordered. The beautiful thing about the newsgroups is that one can highlight a whole bunch (I mean thousands!) of pictures for download and then head off to do something entirely different knowing that in a few hours the old hard drive will be chock full of new smut all ready to be used with one's pants at one's ankles. No page loading and clicking on individual pics and then right clicking to save them one at a time. It's automatic!

So, where was I heading with this post? I'll be damned if I know; I was just in the mood to do a little writing and this is what came out. Must be time to pull down some more pics - or to send some up. That's the other cool thing about Usenet - it's just as easy to send pictures up as it is to pull some down! ;)


"Even a total dipwad who's never visited a newsgroup would
probably recognize a listing such as this one for the
big shitload of spam that it is. There's a lot of great
naked treasure mixed in with the spam, though!

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4 comments:

Jay said...

Send me a link sounds like something i will try also are you on yahoo

RobbieG said...

I know the feeling of downloading more than you can look at. I believe the real thrill though is getting it, rather than the porn itself. It's like an appetite you can't satisfy. The thrill of seeing something new.

Mac said...

I've been a newsgroup hound for years, myself, Joe. And what you say is so very true. I never tire of looking. Addicted, like you? Certainly. I've never met a pussy I didn't like. LOL I must admit, however, to belonging to one pay site that deals exclusively with very high quality female masturbation. It is a class act and a lifelong disease of mine-watching a woman masturbate. Long live the newsgroups, though.

averagedrinker said...

that penis of yours is a hot item! i love open men like you. i meet men like your type on webdate and damn, they are the best sex buddies ever on this planet. can you satisfy my pussy sometime?