Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Nuttin' Wrong Wit Dat

I get most of my news online at CNN, checking usually a few times a day to see who's doing what to whom and where. They do feature their share of oddities when it comes to reporting on the national scene, and sometimes one of their headlines alone is sufficient for me to shake my head and wonder what's wrong with the world. I chuckle more than one would think I'd have a right to when perusing some of the articles, such as this one posted yesterday.

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Problems with the distribution of federal disaster assistance after hurricanes Katrina and Rita caused potential fraud and waste topping $1 billion...

...$400 was spent on "adult erotica products," all of which auditors concluded were "not necessary to satisfy legitimate disaster needs."

Well, okay, the $400 wasn't spent on the usual immediate needs such as food, clothing, and shelter, but I'd put one's sexual needs on nearly an even par. What the hell? If we can pay for umpteen million welfarers to live on the public dole simply because they refuse to work... If we can fund research to preserve worthless little species of insects from becoming endangered... If we can pump billions of dollars into foreign economies... I'll be damned if I'm going to begrudge some horny bastard displaced by a hurricane because he'd like to get his rocks off with a handful of porn and toys while he's recovering from the devastation all around him.

Frankly, I have a very strong urge to cum when I'm faced with a crisis or an undue amount of stress. Suppose I were so irredeemably repulsive that I didn't stand a chance of sticking my dick into a woman of even the most revolting sort - not even for a ton of money - not even if she were unconscious because my mere approach would waken her and send her screaming on her way... Imagine on top of that, that I just lost my trailer, my still out back by the bayou, my pick-up rotting in the yard, and all those poor old tired dogs that lived under the back porch... And then, Uncle Sam came along and gave me a little plastic card good for $1000!

$400 for some skin mags, a vibrator, a blow-up doll, and a tube of slick stuff doesn't seem unreasonable at all.

Our government wastes a lot of money, much of it more
worthlessly spent than by some poor slob getting himself
a few erotic aids on our tab following a natural disaster.
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Desireous said...

Great post. God I laughed!


Charms said...

And why didn't we get any traffic from them? :(
Great post and blog!

Buttpluglover said...

You should write for Esquire, for you have successfully defended the Indefensible Position.