Monday, June 25, 2007

I Don't Expect You to Understand

Dee had never been hot on the idea of putting her mouth near a cock when I met her, nor for the first 19 years of our marriage. At the beginning of our courtship when she put my hand between her legs with her pants on, after we'd been kissing hard and deep and I was feeling up her hard nipples, Dee said, "See how wet you made me!" I offered to eat her. She told me she'd love it but quickly warned me that she wouldn't reciprocate. Weeks of many delicious cunnilingus sessions went by until she gave me the first of many hand jobs, and often while she urged my cock toward climax she'd tell me about the sex she had with other guys before we met. There was never any mention of her using her mouth on a guy's cock and given that she'd warned me about not expecting her to do oral on me I wasn't surprised.

We fell in love in early October that year and it wasn't until Dee was about to go home for Thanksgiving break that she first kissed my hard dick and then made me cum by sliding her lips up and down its sensitive underside. That, I would learn, would be a very, very, very rare treat - always to be administered at random and never by request. I'd just assumed I was the first guy she ever did that to because she had made it so clear that she didn't give head. It wouldn't be for 20 more years, when I was e-mailing Dee as Camden Holst, that I'd learn that she had used her mouth to make both of the guys she had fucked before me cum in the same way.

Our first three years of being married went by and on occasion I'd be treated to one of Dee's lick jobs, but they fell by the wayside completely when she slid into the depression that would set the tone of our marriage for the next 16 years. During the worst of times Dee would sometimes barter a small bit of oral attention for something she wanted me to do like run to the store to get her a snack she was craving. I'd bargain for a certain number of minutes of cock licking and I'd actually have to set a timer beside the bed so she wouldn't need to go a second beyond the agreed upon time. When the time actually came for my cock to be licked, though, Dee's body language, her distant, somewhat hostile look, and lackluster performance made it hardly worth the time. And this is where everything I've written so far is leading: I actually laid there at times wishing that somehow a miracle might happen. That Dee might someday come to love not only licking but sucking my cock, even to the point of making me cum in her mouth. But what were the chances? Impossible!

This morning Dee wrote to Don the following: "Thursday will be here soon! I can't wait to suck you again."

Not, "I can't wait for you to eat me again."

Not, "I can't wait for you to fuck my pussy and then my ass."

"I can't wait to suck you again."

I was at work when Dee met Don in his car on her way to work one morning.
I remember him telling me that I was going to love this picture he snapped
of her smile just as she was about to engulf his hard cock. He was right!

This is why I continue to write "Sharing Dee" even though I revisit the same themes maybe too often for regular readers to stand. Every day of my life is a continuation of the miracle for which I'd hoped and wished and sometimes even prayed. No, I didn't actually ask the Almighty to make my wife suck my cock, but I did pray for a nudge that she might come to love me enough to want to give me pleasure without reservation.

When I see the head of a guy's hard cock disappear into Dee's mouth and see that look of utter delight on her face as it slides across her tongue and she makes that, "Mmmmmm!" sound it never fails to remind me of just how lucky I am to have now everything I ever wanted in a wife. I suppose that sounds terribly shallow in a sense - but watching my wife suck dick and enjoy doing it so much herself is a huge exclamation point on my life.

When Dee's doing this and moaning because it
feels so good to her, all's right with my world.

I don't really expect anybody to understand much about what I feel in the things I write about here, but it is heartening to know that you read it just the same and I hope you find something good here even if it doesn't make a hell of a lot of sense.

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Cheri said...

Actually, your comments and remarks make more sense than you may think. Finding your sexuality is an amazing thing...being able to share it with your husband (and others) is even more intense.

I love reading your posts and hope you will continue for a long time to come. XOXO

Alfie said...

That is one brilliant photograph! Little wonder you love to watch the action.