Sunday, December 18, 2005

Tagged? Me? Gulp!

Oh boy! What do I do now? Des tagged me but either didn't read this or was eager to cheer me up and forgot that I wrote it. Because I appreciate her trying to raise my spirits I have to do this, at least in part. The activity is definitely worth a good blog post - "people who get tagged need to write an entry about their five weird habits " - but I don't like tagging in general because it's like inviting somebody to a Tupperware™ party and playing a game where the winner "gets to" host the next party, so I'm not going to participate in the chain letter like aspect of it. The tag ends here.

My Five Weird Habits
by Joe Xxxxxxx
English - Section C
Mrs. Desireous
  1. I am an neurotically on time. I will arrive just about anywhere obnoxiously early rather than be late. I have no patience with the chronically tardy; they're inconsiderate cads who implicitly tell me what they think I'm worth by keeping me waiting for them.
  2. I usually jerk off at least once a day - even when Dee and I make love or we have a date with one or more of our playmates. I have never lost my adolescent wonder and enjoyment of being able to orgasm. I consider sexual climax the absolute greatest of life's physical pleasures. Bring on the beautiful sunsets, the symphonies, the great works of Art - after I've ejaculated, please.
  3. I take pictures all the time, of anything and everything. I am thankful to live in the age of digital photography. All my life I wanted to take pictures but didn't because of the costs of shooting film. I will never be an artist with a camera, but hot damn - I'll have more pictures than anybody else!
  4. I latch on to people who are hurting, down on their luck, having a bad time and then torment myself because there's nothing I can really do to make a positive difference to them. I've done it already to some of you. I really need to work on this because I beat myself up too much and too often and feel myself a failure at times for not being able to do as much of the impossible as my heart wishes it could accomplish.
  5. I go back to edit a blog post any time I notice the slightest English error I might have made. I abhor the slaughter of the language, inventive spellings, and "net speak" which are worming their ways into the common tongue. I love the blogs because I've finally found a niche where others value proper English and have the ability to use it.

It took me a lot longer to compile this list than I'd imagined it might because there are too many things about myself that, if I were to write them here, would reveal me in a heartbeat to anybody from "real life" who might stumble upon these writings. Even now, I fear that I might have said too much. For the record, I am dishonest on this blog only by omission. I value this forum too much to do it the injustice of making it into a work of fiction masquerading as the Dee's Joe persona, for he is as much of me which is tangible and real as the other parts which lie beneath the various hats I don. At this point in my life, he is the part of myself which I understand the most though I understand him little.
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Mac said...

What a pleasure to know someone who is a "real" person and one who is articulate enough to put down in words what they feel in their heart. Webster, or one of those guys, defines articulate as being endowed with the power of speech or being able to express oneself easily in clear and effective language. You do this very well, Joe.

I identify so closely with what you've said about yourself here. I despise people who do not go to the trouble to at least attempt to use proper English or try to spell words correctly. I try to, although I was not an English major.

One of the things I hate the most is people writing about masTERbation rather than masTURbation. Are they simply trying to be the MASTER of their bate, do not know the difference or do they not care?

Oh, well, it's Christmas so maybe we shouldn't be too hard on them. You're a stand up guy, Joe.

Desireous said...

My goodness for such an open minded fun guy you sure are a stick in the mud!!!
:-) Only teasing!
Well I'm glad you played anyway. I guess I had forgetten that you didn't like to play tag. Sorry.


Willy said...

I too think an orgasm a day keeps the doctors away, even though it didn't work totally for me...I'm still in there keeping the record up.

I agree with Mac...Joe you can certainly write...I enjoy all your musings.

And who knows maybe both you and I are really master baters, or would that be master masturbaters?

NeverEnough said...

You're an awesome guy Joe and I love reading all your posts!